When I started my journey with yoga, I seemed like a different person. I was so unaware of how blocked I was. I found myself angry, bitter, jealous, and depressed. Little did I know yoga was here to help.
The summer I decided to do a yoga teacher training I was in training for a marathon. I thought I loved running, it was active and social and it allowed me to blow some steam and sometimes run 15 miles bitching to my friends about my work week, or something some family member was doing, or sometimes how another runner was acting. Thinking back, wow I was such an asshole! I was being so judgmental of everyone else while crying my eyes out and feeling really lost. Yeah, I had friends, but something was missing.
Enter yoga. Week after week I was going to classes trying to find physical relief from my pain, and not really knowing what I really needed. After my marathon, I had to spend several months recovering from an injury. That meant no running on Saturdays or any day for a couple months. I found a class at the studio near my home that had a little bit of gentle yin and some movement. It wasn’t like any class I had been in before. Usually I enjoyed the heat cranked up, lots of movement kind of like a workout. This was nothing like this. On one particular occasion, she had decided to offer a bit of guided meditation to the class, which I had no idea what it was. It might have only been about 20 minutes, but 20 minutes that started to crack me open. With my eyes closed I saw colors flash. I spoke to a friend about it and thought maybe it was an aura or something. It was something I had never experienced. (In another blog, I’ll get into this a little more). A few weeks later, I decided to go to a class on NYE. It was the same teacher and the class was one I would never forget. I remember just so much from that last year, stress, heartbreak, anger, depression. I finally was able to accept it. At the end of the class I was able to finally let it go. I cried, but not because I was sad or depressed, but I was finally able to let go of the stuff that had no business being in my life.
I wouldn’t say I was completely healed, but I was on my way. I’m still working on myself. I’ve read many times that usually what you need most is usually something you don’t even like or want. I say you take the time to find that different class, different teacher. The one you think you have the least interest in. Close your eyes and dive in.